Friday, May 3, 2013

How many lone wolves make a pack?

(Boston Herald) Throw the book at them!

Please, no more talk about how they’re “only” 19 years old and they don’t understand the customs of the Western world. Deportation is way too easy. Two weeks ago, if they call 911 after they get the infamous “lol” text from Junior Terrorist, Sean Collier is alive today.

Obstruction of justice, misprision of a felony — call it whatever you want, these punks are responsible for one death and the near-death of T cop Richard Donohue.

Of course, we’re still supposed to believe this was a “lone-wolf” operation. A lone wolf here, a lone wolf there, three more lone wolves brought into court on Wednesday. How many lone wolves, as somebody asked, does it take to make a wolf pack?

Borat No. 1’s mouthpiece said his client “feels horrible and was shocked.”

Borat No. 2’s lawyer said his client is “shocked and horrified.”

Needless to say, nobody knew from nothing that their pal was a bomber, even though he’d been bragging to them about his bomb-making prowess. What could they possibly know about infernal devices? Well, they understood enough to get the Vaseline the hell out of Junior Terrorist’s dorm room.

And that’s another thing. After they got back to their apartment in New Bedford, the Borats and their faithful Cantabrigian companion “freaked out” when they saw their comrade on CNN.

Yet they again neglected to call 911. Instead, they return to UMass Dartmouth to scrub the incriminating evidence out of Junior’s room.

OK, so these guys weren’t the brightest bulbs. One of them actually flunked out of UMass Dartmouth. Who knew that was even possible?

Like the Tsarnaevs, they had a fancy imported German vehicle. Tamerlan, aka Speedbump, favored a Mercedes. It was all he could afford, being on welfare. The Borats preferred a black BMW, complete with that “Terrorista #1” novelty 
license plate.

As one of their fathers back in Boratastan said of the plate, “It was a joke.”

A botched joke, as John Kerry would put it.

And now the campaign to turn the Borats into harmless, lovable waifs begins. Why, it was just a prank, like rush week on Fraternity Row. I can see the campaign unfolding now, sob story by sob story, in the pages of the Globe, where Speedbump is fondly recalled as a “stay-at-home dad.”

You might say the PR cover-up has already begun. The most damning part of the complaint is their non-response to Junior’s “lol” when they ask him if he’s a terrorist. The Globe did manage to mention “lol” — in the 22nd paragraph. That’s not burying the lead, that’s cremating it.