Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Ramadan death toll in Nigeria, August 14, 2012

(Nigeria) After receiving a tip-off on Sunday night that members of Nigeria's favourite jihadists were having a sin-song at one of their hideouts in Maiduguri, the police and army rushed round as fast as possible in order to join in. However, Boko Haaram were having none of this and opened up on the security forces in which to express their disgust, killing a soldier. They, in turn, returned fire, killing 20 of Allah's favourite bleeders.

At the same time in the city of Damaturu, a police patrol came under fire from Allah's favourite Nigerian terrorists. However, the police were having none of this and fought back, killing 2 and arresting 30.

Unfortunately, not everything went the police's way when terrorists opened up on policemen standing guard outside a church, killing one and wounding his partner.

It seems that instead of hiding away in which to lick their wounds and regroup, the leadership of Boko Haram decided that killing as many people as possible so soon after this setback would serve as a rallying call to the faithful. So arming 7 men for bear, they travelled to the central Nigerian town of Kaduna (Nigeria is split approximately in half on religious lines - Islam to the south, Christians in the middle) in which to kill as many non-Muslims as possible. The thing is, one of the bombers must have suffered from P.E. (Premature Explosion), and the sight of all those uncovered women in Kaduna must have made him become very excited and thus he must have had a little explosion in his pants, which in turn detonated the explosives he was carrying, resulting in the timely deaths of those 7 bombers. I take it Allah has a real sense of humour.

Ramadan death count moves up to 2,732.