(Tehran) The one thing I have come to notice about the nature of Islam, is its penchant for banning things that upsets them. Be it Bras , Nike shoes or even toilet paper, once anybody amongst the faithful has his back up, there's a fatwa not far behind.
Which is why people have been banned from walking their dogs in public as apparently it causes panic and anxiety among the public,. Well so says 'Hossein Rahimi' Tehrans chief of police who speaking to the media summed up by stating:
"People who walk their dogs in public places shall be dealt with severely"
What I cannot understand is, if this measure is down to the panic feel when bumping into a dog on a leash in public, then why have the Polcie also banned people from transporting their dogs inside their vehicles. With Tehrans version of Chief Wiggum stating that:
"Dogs will also be banned from cars, police will seriously confront dog owners who let their dogs ride in their cars."
So much for targeting dogs in public then,
Logging you in...
Lorensacho · 325 weeks ago
Sayyid Ali Hosseini Khamenei
Islamic Republic of Iran
Dear Ayatollah,
Perhaps you have heard that the mayor of Tehran has banned dogs. This ban was enacted in response to Islam’s views that dogs are unsanitary and the incarnation of Jews. What should be of concern to you is that the banning of dogs will damage the security of your country. Please permit me to explain.
The Mossad has agents in Iran stealing documents and killing nuclear scientists. The Jewish agents employ dogs that as you know have a much greater sense of smell than humans. Dogs utilized by the Mossad Dog Brigade, or as the members of the brigade call themselves, the sons of dogs and apes gang, are asked to sniff out Iranian guards who like citizens of all countries have distinct smells. This enables the Mossad to be more clandestine and successful in their missions.
There is a two pronged program that you can adopt that will neutralize this canine advantage. The first is to feed Iranian guards Jewish food. A steady diet of gefilte fish and knishes will make the Iranians smell like Israelis thus neutralizing the dog’s scent training. The other program to neutralize the Mossad dogs is to introduce Iranian dogs in heat into all areas of Iranian life. These dogs will totally distract the Mossad dogs from their mission and level the playing field. Humping dogs do not fight.
I hope this information will assist Iran to regain military dominance within its own country.
Yours for scents in all canine matters,
Helen Smaltzoff
CEO, Odors R US
1818 Chai Blvd,
Jerusalem, Israel 40700